Family Values and Socialism

(upon encountering a man sitting at a table outside the supermarket collecting signatures for a petition for "America For Liberty")
Me:
What is America For Liberty?
Guy:
We are here collecting signatures from people who believe in Liberty.
Me:
You need to collect signatures for that? What Americans DON'T believe in Liberty?
Guy:
Oh, you'd be amazed at how many people don't believe in traditional family values and individual responsibility.
Me:
But isn't it their right, their freedom, their LIBERTY to NOT believe in those things?
Guy:
What kind of depraved socialist would nor believe in family values?
Me:
What exactly ARE the family values?
Guy:
Simple - one man and one woman married until death do them part.
Me:
Actually, those aren't values. It's your DEFINITION of family.
Guy:
:/
Me:
What benefits does a family provide that are so important?
Guy:
Well, that's simple. A family provides the moral background and raises positive and responsible members of our American society.
Me:
Even families in other countries raise their kids to be responsible members of American society?
Guy:
:/ ... well, they should.
Me:
Right. And how do families make people responsible?
Guy:
Well, the kids learn these things from their parents. The parents provide everything the kids need.
Me:
Everything?
Guy:
Yeah, everything.
Me:
You have a family, I assume?
Guy:
Yeah, my wife and I raised three great kids.
Me:
Ok. So did they have to buy their own food and clothes when they were growing up?
Guy:
God no. We bought our kids that stuff. That's what a family does.
Me:
Hmmm...and did you charge them rent?
Guy:
No. Of course not. Who would do that?
Me:
So you provided free food, clothing, and housing? And they did nothing?
Guy:
Yes, because I provide for my family.
Me:
Actually, it sounds like you're a socialist.
Guy:
What the...
(As I was walking away)
Guy:
God will forgive you if you let him.
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